The Astrohaus Freewrite

The Astrohaus Freewrite reminds me of the word-processing keyboards my elementary classmates and I used when I lived in Virginia in the early 2000’s.


The AlphaSmart (shown above) was likely the machine I used. I think my sixth grade English class used word processing keyboards as well, but if we did, I might be the only one who remembers. I’m not going to bother people, the bulk of who I have not spoken to since I graduated high school in 2013, to see if they remember.

I heard about the Astrohaus Freewrite through theĀ Paris Review.

It is advertised as a smart typewriter. As someone who loves technology and typewriters, I would love to have one, but there’s not much point. Items like this seem primed for coffee house writers. You know the kind. This kind.


I hardly ever leave my room. I have no need for something portable.

But the Freewrite has a 4+ week battery life. That’s an attraction. It’s also “single-purpose” or “distraction-free” which appeals to me as someone with ADHD, and I know many who get off task by needing to satiate the need for social networking site visits every few minutes.

It’s also a good mix of cute and preposterous

Looks like something from a Terry Gilliam movie.

It doesn’t much matter though, if you don’t have the dough, and as of right now it is $399. When it goes to full retail price this winter it will be $499. No thank you. If I want a portable word processor that is only a word processor, I will buy an old AlphaSmart. Most of them are below $30, and they have the Speak & Spell look going on.

I feel like this is a good time to mention Bo Peep is returning in Toy Story 4. That’s the whole reason I wanted a fourth movie. Somebody up there loves me.

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