Things to come


I know it is really not in my best interest to dedicate myself to blog projects when I am headed back to college, but I’ve never been one for making well thought out life decisions.

Here are some things to come

  • I recently found a fairly odd YouTube video. This isn’t odd in the Weird Part of YouTube sense, but — well, it’s a video of the opening to the Harriet the Spy VHS. I found it when I found the music video for “The Secretive Life,” and I  remember this. We were a family that would rather suffer the trailer for Magic in the Mirror: Fowl Play than risk the VHS player eating the tape.
    • I promised myself as child I would never watch Magic in the Mirror, because even back when I was five I saw that it was fucking stupid as fuck, a visual lobotomy, if you will. I have taken an interest in the Paramount Family Favorites promo. Some of the movies I’ve seen. Some of them I haven’t, but I thought it would be fun to do installments of reactions to each film in the PFF promo, similar to what I did with Mortal Kombat. I’m not promising a weekly thing, because that might be a bit too much, but it will happen.
      • Movies (Rotten Tomatoes Percentage Included)
        • Charlotte’s Web – 75%
        • Andre – 47%
          • I liked this movie when I was little, so I’m heartbroken. We’ll see if I still like it.
        • Searching for Bobby Fischer – 100%
        • Popeye – 59%
        • D.A.R.Y.L. – 50%
        • Bon Voyage Charlie Brown (And Don’t Come Back) – No Tomatometer Score. Audience Score: 81%
        • Lassie – 87%
        • Explorers – 77%
        • Prehysteria! – No TM. Audience Score: 39%
        • Dragonworld – No critics. Audience Score: 62%

Mynewshe: St. John Mendel did it

What do you when you want to write something similar to what has already been written.

What do you when you want to write something similar to what has already been written.

I started writing a story back in winter of 2014, a few months prior to the release of Station Eleven. This summer I’ve been reading Station Eleven on and off — partly out of discouragement at seeing the similarities it has with my story, and partly because I switch between books like my dad switches channels during TV programs.

Should I stop working on my story because of this. I don’t think so. I see this as a way to encourage me to make my story better and makes me certain that I should turn the story into a play.

Mynewshe: Hipsters

Putting the dent in identity.

In my last post, I talked about hipsters. So I decided to dedicate this post to hipsters and how I’m not one. Not really.
Check out these test results.

I got a second opinion. BuzzFeed asked if I was a circle, because I have no edge.

Still kind of made at the friends who have called me a hipster, or else tell me that I am too concerned with labels. Yes, I enjoy labels! it’s a form of cataloging people!

As a rural millennial, I’ve been fascinated by hipster culture for a number of years. My first Tumblr post was a rant about hipster, and my second made fun of Michael Cera’s hipster mustache. This was back in 2012, and I’m ashamed of the complacent, soapbox, shit show it was. Let’s stop talking about it.

It pisses me off that you’re considered a hipster if you shop at thrift stores. I shop at thrift stores because I’m poor. I live in an area rife with individuals who live with LES, and with that I want to say one of the things to hate about hipster culture is that it glorifies poverty, thinking it makes you bohemian.

But I went to my friends about the Astrohaus Freewrite and asked if I would look like a hipster if I got one, this was before I knew how expensive they were, and the best response I received was this.

If you like it get it that’s all that matters

Simple. Pretty much common sense, but to quote a professor of mine, Reverand Jeremy Justus, our culture craves authenticity, and my generation fears inauthenticity like our parents feared terrorism in the 2000s.

Millenials care about identity, but we are in a world so oversaturated with social cohesion it’s hard to tell who is being influenced by who and what facets of one’s identity are organic, because everybody loves organic.

As Jeff Wise of Psychology Today puts it, when discussing the article “Demythologizing Consumption Practices: How Consumers Protect Their Field-Dependent Identity Investments from Devaluing Marketplace Myths.”

In general, psychologists who study consumers understand that people are largely motivated to spend money not just on things that they materially need, but that bolster their sense of identity. They purchase not just goods and services, but mythologies. Imagining themselves as rugged, rebellious patriots, they buy a Harley-Davidson. Imagining themselves as respected and well-heeled, they buy a Lexus.

Hipsters, though, follow a different paradigm. Their problem is that their purchases tend to place them within a category whose mythology they despise. That’s right: Nobody likes hipsters, not even hipsters.

Maybe I am a hipster, because that would explain the self-loathing.

Anyway, I could go on, but I think I will soon be completely incomprehensible, so I’m done.

The Astrohaus Freewrite

It’s a good mix of cute and preposterous

The Astrohaus Freewrite reminds me of the word-processing keyboards my elementary classmates and I used when I lived in Virginia in the early 2000’s.


The AlphaSmart (shown above) was likely the machine I used. I think my sixth grade English class used word processing keyboards as well, but if we did, I might be the only one who remembers. I’m not going to bother people, the bulk of who I have not spoken to since I graduated high school in 2013, to see if they remember.

I heard about the Astrohaus Freewrite through the Paris Review.

It is advertised as a smart typewriter. As someone who loves technology and typewriters, I would love to have one, but there’s not much point. Items like this seem primed for coffee house writers. You know the kind. This kind.


I hardly ever leave my room. I have no need for something portable.

But the Freewrite has a 4+ week battery life. That’s an attraction. It’s also “single-purpose” or “distraction-free” which appeals to me as someone with ADHD, and I know many who get off task by needing to satiate the need for social networking site visits every few minutes.

It’s also a good mix of cute and preposterous

Looks like something from a Terry Gilliam movie.

It doesn’t much matter though, if you don’t have the dough, and as of right now it is $399. When it goes to full retail price this winter it will be $499. No thank you. If I want a portable word processor that is only a word processor, I will buy an old AlphaSmart. Most of them are below $30, and they have the Speak & Spell look going on.

I feel like this is a good time to mention Bo Peep is returning in Toy Story 4. That’s the whole reason I wanted a fourth movie. Somebody up there loves me.

I don’t know how to feel about the Ashby trailer. It looks like a mash-up of Rushmore, spy movies, Drillbit Taylor, and Driving Mrs. Daisy. Honestly funny in parts, because of Nat Wolff’s delivery. I have yet to forgive him for Paper Towns, I still haven’t forgiven him for the Naked Brothers Band, but it looks like he’s playing a character who actually has multiple dimensions.

I never thought I’d see Sarah Silverman play a mom, but she actually looks like she’s related to Nat Wolff.

It unnerves me that Nat Wolff is almost two months younger than me.

I don’t think Jonathan Franzen has any black friends.

Good on Henry Finder, for being the best kind of editor, the kind of editor who edits the person they edit for’s life.

Welp, Jonathan Franzen’s career might be over. For the love of god, George Saunders, stay sensible. If American literature is going to be ruled by white males, let them at least be respectable and respectful.

“Oh, it was insane, the idea that Kathy [his partner] and I were going to adopt an Iraqi war orphan. The whole idea lasted maybe six weeks,” Franzen explained. “One of the things that had put me in mind of adoption was a sense of alienation from the younger generation. They seemed politically not the way they should be as young people. I thought people were supposed to be idealistic and angry. And they seemed kind of cynical and not very angry. At least not in any way that was accessible to me.”

-Jonathen Franzen

The funny thing about that is a number of those cynical, calm people are the sort who may look up to Franzen, and the real question here; how does he believe the younger generation should be in a political sense?

This latest moment of Franzen comes from the Guardian.

Good on Henry Finder, for being the best kind of editor, the kind of editor who edits the person they edit for’s life.

It would be easy to look past this foot-in-mouth episode, only a Newsweek article includes a rundown of his bloviated* and/or pretentious behavior that traces back to the beginning of the millennium. While it may be disgruntling to Franzen fans, who work their damnedest to separate the work from its author, like trying to love the child of someone who was convicted of a violent crime–don’t think that’s too much of an outlandish remark, Franzen attempted murder on his career–but Franzen is the Guy in Your MFA without the MFA.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Franzen one day becomes parodied by the coming generations of white, privileged males. I wouldn’t be surprised if the same action wasn’t taken by a underprivileged, white, female, because I think it sounds like a great idea. Feel free to take this as a sort of writing prompt, put your own spin on the idea. You and I can usher in an era where nearly every work of contemporary literature contains a parody of Jonathan Franzen.

Franzen working a lengthy “I spend every day in a coffee shop” haircut in his youth.

More Fran-Zen

* = word of the day